Fly on the Wall
by RavensRequiem
Summary: Eavesdropping is rude. It's a bit odd to fantasize about co-workers and abnormal to fantasize about co-workers with other co-workers. Good thing Rebecca never considered herself polite or normal... Implied Shaun/Desmond


**Fly on the Wall**

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_Disclaimer: __I don't claim possession over any and all characters contained herein. I just decided to have fun with them._

_Notes: If I claimed to know where in the hell this came from, I would be struck dead for lying my ass off. All I know is that I wanted to fuck around with double entendres, cliches, and misconceptions; this is the mildly disturbing result. ...And for whatever reason (which I can't claim to know the reason for) I can just picture Rebecca being a total imp and pervert fangirl. *shrugs* It's just for fun, so enjoy?_

_Warnings: Shaun/Desmond, implied yaoi, mild language, voyeurism (to some odd degree)  
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"You know… Your carpet doesn't match your drapes…"

"Excuse me?"

Rebecca froze on her way past Shaun's room with the exact same inquiry on her lips. She had to wait for a minute for her brain to process what she'd heard and, once it was certain she hadn't misheard, she grinned. With stealthy movements and devious intent, she sidled up to the closed door she had walked past and pressed her ear to it. She heard the faint thump of a heavy guitar rift (had to be Desmond's music playing) and the pad of feet against the carpet.

"I just noticed that your carpet doesn't match your drapes is all." Desmond sounded so blithe about the fact.

"And that concerns you how?" And Shaun sounded as annoyed as always.

It was quiet for a beat before, "It bothers me."

Rebecca knew it was plausible that Desmond was actually bitching about home décor, but Shaun sounded a little _too_ upset for it to be so simple a matter.

"Why on earth would it bother you?"

"It just… it's doesn't look right." Where Shaun sounded affronted, Desmond sounded like he was trying to figure out his own observation.

"Well, it's none of your bloody business!"

"It _is_ my business if I have to stare at it all day long." There was a shuffle and a flop; presumably Desmond had sat down. "And I say that it just looks off."

Rebecca stifled a snigger at the use of the word "it". _Carpets and drapes are separate things, so he would have used "they". But since he used it, could he be talking about IT?_ Her grin spread and she knelt down to get comfortable; this could be good.

"And since when are you a fashionista?"

"Ah… since I don't like the fact that one's darker than the other?"

"It's perfectly contrasted, you limey twat!"

Rebecca heard Desmond snicker and had to muffle her own.

"And stop smirking, Miles!"

"What? You're cute when you get pissy."

"I'm not _pissy_! I am, however, affronted that you would interject your opinion where it doesn't belong! It's my decision and I hardly appreciate your… your input on the matter."

Rebecca's grin widened. _No way in _hell_ would Shaun get that pissed over home décor! Aie, I wish I'd wiretapped this place…_ Her maniacal toothy grin settled into something a little dreamier as her eyes glazed over. Without her consent, her mind supplied her images of Shaun and Desmond lounging around in little to no clothing (her only explanation for the argument), too confident in their teammates giving them privacy.

"Shaun, if I'd insulted your work, I could see you getting all huffy. But we're talking about something that, like, what, one person sees?" Desmond sounded a bit smug then. "It's not like I'm going to take pictures and post them on the Internet."

"You'd better the hell not!"

Rebecca _swore_ she had started drooling, evil little images of X-rated Shaun and Desmond porn flitting through her mind without restraint. She almost giggled, but clapped a hand over her mouth because she knew that one of the two men would hear the slightest upset. _This is so rich!_

"Calm down, I'm not doing anything. But, seriously, it's just not matching, Shaun. You've got dark up top and light on the bottom and it just isn't going with the fact that you seem to hate sunlight."

"Listen here, Eagle, it took me a good long time to do and it requires serious upkeep."

"…Point being?"

Rebecca knew she was drooling at that point because she could assume by the conversation that Shaun was wearing _nothing_ by Desmond's close scrutiny. _Never knew he dyed his hair…_ was about the only logical thought that made it around perverse fangirl fantasies of this absolutely asinine argument turning into sex. _Oh, make-up sex is always fun! …Or angry sex… Ah, I bet that must be hot to watch those two go at each other!_ Her face heated up in contradiction to the starry-eyed look she aimed at the door.

"And I don't hate sunlight!" Shaun spat.

"Riiiiight…"

"I do not!"

_Sorry, but you're paler then paper,_ Rebecca replied, if only to herself. _Shaun, you're a very delusional man._ She shifted slightly and bit her bottom lip, listening hard for any noise when it went silent. She almost squeaked in surprise when she heard a noise that would stiffen the spine of any passerby and cause a blush on even the most sexually experienced face.

"Do _not_ change the subject, Hastings."

"How else am I to shut you up?"

"Get off me!"

"Why should I?"

"Because I can still see it and it bugs me."

"Oh for the love of…"

Rebecca shifted again, mind conjuring images of a very naked Shaun sitting on Desmond (for some reason her mind supplied boxers for the novice) with a few very suggestive movements to cause such luscious sounds. _I so want to be a fly on the wall right now…_

"Shaun… Shaun, don't you dare!"

"If it's bothering you, I need to distract you."

"Shaun Hastings, don't even think about it! …Hey! You motherfucker, untie me!"

_Oh God… kinky sex!_ Rebecca licked her lips and considered, for three seconds, whether or not her actions were inappropriate. _Nah!_ was her final determination. _There's nothing else to do for fun around here and this shit is hot!_ Some part of her knew it really wasn't normal (and possibly not healthy) to fantasize about co-workers. It was probably even worse to fantasize about co-workers _with_ other co-workers when she was supposed to be hitting them up for herself. But, Rebecca was a smart girl; she'd known Shaun was gay from the moment she met (read: saved) him and had a feeling Desmond was as well after reviewing his Animus sessions from Abstergo.

So, instead of hurting herself, Rebecca amused herself and God was it good!

"Shaun! Hey, are you listening to me, you bastard! Un-fucking-tie me!"

"Well, you aren't bothered anymore, are you?"

"Because I can't fucking see!"

"What a mouth. Don't make me shut you up, love."

"You wouldn't even… Give them back, Shaun!"

"Why, you don't need them anymore."

_Hmm… boxer-less…_ Rebecca almost gave herself away with a snorted laughed. _Christ, now I'm having Homer moments!_ Her defense: How could she not when those dirty little images turned to Desmond all tied up with God knew what and Shaun standing over him, naked and victorious, with the novice's boxers hung from his crooked pointer finger.

"I'm warning you, untie me right now or you are going to regret it later."

There was a choked shout from Desmond and a purring laugh from Shaun. "I would look forward to that, Des."

"I'm not fucking…" Whatever threat Desmond was going to throw out was interrupted by another moan that ended with a breathless curse. "Shaun, I-I hate you."

Rebecca's perverted little brain went into overdrive as it easily envisioned a boxer-less, tied up Desmond trying to struggle against a very smug, orally talented Shaun. She knelt there in her own world, ears attuned to the increasingly more decadent moans and pleas coming from inside, until a very specific, very unmistakable sound had her on her feet.

It was cool to eavesdrop on teammates fighting and enjoying foreplay, but she drew the line at eavesdropping while they had sex.

_Okay, pervy time over!_ Rebecca scuttled down the hallway with a bright blush and a stupid grin on her face, very pleased with her findings and the miniature show she'd gotten. _If nothing else, I have more to tease Shaun with… Dying his hair, ha, who would have known?_

If Rebecca had been a fly on the wall, what she saw and what she heard would have been two different things. She would have seen Desmond critically eying the new, dark coffee curtains Shaun had put up, which really didn't match the pale cream paint and industrial-grade wheat carpet. But, she also would have been happy to see Shaun lay Desmond out on the carpet he'd noted and tie him up with those curtains he had bitched about.

But, Rebecca was happy to go around thinking the argument had been about mismatched hair colors because misconstruing obscure facts was far more fun.


End file.
